Orna Sonnenschein
Welcome to Temple Beth Am

As the Director of Education of Temple Beth Am, I am pleased to make available, on-line, my thoughts which are found in Temple Beth Am's monthly newsletter, TEBEAM.

My articles are available on-line and are readily available for viewing or downloading and reading at your convenience.

Director of Education’s Message
Tebeam
February 2008

When I first came to Temple Beth Am there were certain programs already in place that I was expected to administer.  One of those was the Kallah (parent program).  Initially I found it challenging to inspire parents to come to the temple on a Sunday morning to join their children for a grade wide program.  Most of the adults were apathetic at best, many grumbled they had already attended Hebrew School and questioned the importance of sitting through an additional Sunday school session.

I felt constrained to create elaborate, thought provoking programs that would “entertain” parents enough to motivate them to attend and stay engaged.  The term Kallah refers to an assembly-like retreat for the purpose of study.  So superficially the goal of a parent program is to provide a learning experience for parents and students; to create an environment where a child can sit with their parent and study and hopefully grow together.  This in itself is challenging.  To find a topic that interests both adults and youth is hard.  To develop an activity that will engage both grown-ups and children is even more difficult.  To create a program that will meet everyone’s wants and needs virtually impossible.  The challenge plagued me.  After each program whether well received or not, I would come back to those nagging words in the back of my mind…I already attended Hebrew school…why am I here?

Now in my eighth year I feel I am better able to tackle that question.  After facilitating many programs I realized it was time to reassess.  Why hold a Kallah for students and parents.  In an effort to better the programs and reach more families I spent time observing and listening to parents; their concerns, their likes and their dislikes.  What I have come away with is that most of the parents who are sending their child to Hebrew school would appreciate feeling more a part of the community.  Perhaps part of the reluctance on the part of the adults to partake in a temple/school activity is because of a certain level of discomfort. I’ve written before about the parent of an older student who in the years their child attended Hebrew School they never made a connection with other parents.  Unfortunately I know this person’s experience is not unique and the reality of it pains me.  I myself know how I have benefited from being a member of this community.

And so, I have made a shift in my Kallah “philosophy.”  Rather than focusing on the program being solely a joint parent/child learning activity, I look at the Kallah as an opportunity for parents to get to know one another and each others’ children.  I can’t tell you how many times a parent has come up to me after a program saying “I didn’t know that so many parents don’t know how to read Hebrew.” Or “I thought I was the only one who was in an interfaith relationship.” Or “I didn’t realize so and so’s child went to school with mine” and so on. 

I daresay we all have more in common that not.  We are all sending our children to religious school because we want Judaism to play an important role in their lives.  We can help each other achieve that goal.

This is not to say that I have abandoned the idea of studying, learning and growing with your child.  But I see that in order to facilitate that type of activity, we first have to feel comfortable and at home with one another.  In short, the Kallah is intended to give you (the parent) an opportunity to meet, get to know and eventually learn and grow with each other.

So the next time your child’s class has a parent program I encourage you to attend.  The next time you see a Director’s Coffee scheduled, come and hang out.  The more comfortable you are here at Temple Beth Am, the more at home your child will feel and you and your family will reap the benefits of belonging to a warm and welcoming community.

L’Shalom,