Here we are in the month of December.  It’s definitely true that the older you get, the faster time passes; it seems as if just last week, I was enjoying the beach.  And yet, since those lazy, hazy days of summer, as Jews we have prepared for and observed Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we have celebrated in our sukkah, waved the lulav and the etrog and danced around the sanctuary with the scrolls on Simchat Torah.  Week after week, we have welcomed the Sabbath with L’cha Dodi and we have seen it go with Havdalah.  As Americans, we have picked apples and carved pumpkins and handed out sweets to the munchkins who rang our doorbells, and most recently, we have celebrated the American holiday that originated here in New England, Thanksgiving.  Not only have we sat around tables overflowing with hot food and bright autumn decorations, but we have even shared an interfaith Thanksgiving service with all of the diverse religions here in Framingham.

We have had all of these wonderful times for celebrating because we are fortunate enough to be Jews living in the United States of America and we enjoy all the freedoms and privileges that come along with that.  And although I am writing this article before the election, by the time it is read, we will have elected a new president of these United States.  There is no doubt that he has his work cut out for him, but I am confident that he will make the changes needed to get this country back on track.

But we are here now in this month of December and there are many among us who find this time of year to be very stressful; not only because of the presents and the wrapping paper and the money we spend; but because of the feeling of being torn between the holidays; the proverbial “December dilemma.”

Many of our families are interfaith families.  We define interfaith families in a number of ways.  In some cases, one parent is Jewish and one is of another faith.  In some families, both parents are Jewish, but because one is a Jew-by-Choice, there are non-Jewish grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  In yet other cases, both parents were born Jewish, and yet there are extended family members who are not Jewish.  All of these families in our congregation have chosen to identify as Jews, to belong to a synagogue and to raise Jewish children, and my best advice to those families, and all our families, for that matter, is to not stress about the holidays in this month of December.

For as many types of families as there are, there are as many ways of respecting the diversity within the families.  Each family needs to find what works for them; what is comfortable for them and what is authentic and respectful for them.

What I would like all our members to remember is that Jewish identity is not formed only in the month of December.  The Jewish identity of our children (and ourselves, for that matter), is formed all year long.  When we set aside a little time each week to observe the Sabbath (whether that is lighting the candles on Friday evening, attending services at the synagogue or just finding some family time to set the day apart from the rest of the week), when we take an active role in our synagogues, when we observe all the beautiful festivals on our Jewish calendar, not just the one minor festival of Chanukah; when Judaism is a part of our lives all year long, then our Jewish identity is preserved and celebrated. 

There is no reason to look at the festivities of this season in America as a threat to Judaism.  When we and our children know who we are and feel informed about our Jewish heritage and engaged in our Jewish community, then we can enjoy the good cheer of the season, secure in the knowledge of who we are as Jews in America.     

May each of us bask in the lights of our Chanukah candles as we remember the story of the Maccabees, and may we also find joy in sharing with our friends, neighbors and family members as they celebrate the sights, smells and sounds of their festivals as well.

Cantor Jodi Schechtman